day 4

day 4 was filled with excitement. we were finishing up work on the house taht day, going to the school, and that night we were hosting a block party in our neighborhood.

work went great in the morning. by the end of the week we had the first house completely primed and ready to do flooring, and the second house had dry wall up and we had been mudding and taping ceilings, as well as primed some parts of rooms and textureda lot of rooms. i was pleased with what we got done, but of course left wishing we could have finished the house. but glad it wont be long before they can move back in.

going to the school that day was exciting but sad. knowing it was the last day definitely was upsetting me; i had grown so attached to the children. we had to wait extra long to play with the kids, and i felt like i was going to explode. i felt like i was losing precious minutes, and i was not happy about it. we finally got to go out, and thankfully Rayne was back that day, but Iona and Alexis were not, which was a huge disappointment. I had hoped to be able to talk to Alexis again, and was sad that wasnt going to get to happen.

John from Trinity had given me a list of names of kids who had accepted Christ into their lives the week before, so must of day 4 I spent finding those kids and following up. I was happy to be told that these children realyl understood what it meant and were excited to give their lives to Jesus. I was even more excited to find out that one of the boys I had been playing with all week, Tyrone, was one of the kids who had became a Christ follower. great feeling.

there was one point during the day when a little girl I had been playing in the sand with came up to me and dumped a handful of shells and one pebble into my hand. she continued to tell me that she "loved me that many shells, and picked all the prettiest ones just for me, cause im so pretty". that little girl made me cry right there. all I had done was play with her for a few minutes, give her a hug and take her picture, and suddenly i was her best friend.

another touching moment was when Rayne wrapped her little arms around Jenna, and told her that she would miss her the rest of the summer. seeing how we had touched these kids lives really touched ours.

when the older group came in we got a game of four square running after some hula hooping and uno was played. the game went great, with our buddy mitchel telling us how exactly to get Chris out, who happened to be king most of the game. it was pure entertainment, these kids loved it, and i was having a blast too. even though im really no good at the game. i did get to be king once though! no thanks to my own teammates; those kids were way nicer to me than ceri, mac, or tyiesha ever were! :]

i connected again with the little girl named Erin mitchel had introduced me to. she told me she had 6 siblings, and she was in the middle. i told her i had 8, and i was in the middle too. she was happy to have someone who understood that pain, and was attached to my side a lot of that day, too. we got plenty of pictures together. she also loved pointing out that i was the "invisible erin" of the 2, referring to my skin color. see pictures to understand

saying goodbye was tough. i played it lightly, not wanting to seem upset or upset the kids. it was hardest saying bye to G man, i had grown so attached to him. i miss his hugs and i miss his smile. no matter what he will always be the one person who could cheer me up on the spot, just with a little grin. he gave me a huge hug and patted me on the head, telling me he would "see me later", and I said a little prayer right then that maybe some day that would be true. who knows, right?

after the elementary school we went back to our site and rested up a bit while all the other teams showed up. we got a corner team together and went to the streets, with Becky leading chants to draw attention and tell people about the block party. we walked around the neighborhood as well, inviting whoever we saw to come. we got back to the site and I waited anxiously for our kids to show up. we had invited a bunch, as well as the neighbor kids, and itwas almost a proud mother feeling; i loved those kids so much, and i just wanted to show off how amazing they were to everyone else at the block party.

while waiting, we blasted our CD from the van, and our whole crew got up and danced around. we got others to join in, and at one point I grabbed a little 2 year old and we danced for a while. while we were dancing he had pointed to something, so i assumed he wanted his mother and i went to her. as soon as I handed him over he was screaming and crying and reaching for me, and my heart just sank. i said bye and headed over to kerry and lindsey, and shared how upset I was that the child was crying. after some persuasion, I went and told the mother I really didnt mind holding him, and reached for him again. as soon as i reached out he grabbed my hand and screamed louder and cried harder, as i tried to tell the mom i really didnt mind. her face went from one of friendliness to one of complete hate; i dont think i have ever gotten a look that dirty. i instantly peeled my fingers out of the babies as she told me they were leaving and stomped away, with the poor thing still bawling his eyes out. that kind of crashed the block party for me; my heart just broke for the poor little child, and i felt horribly guilty. i had never meant to make the woman feel like i was not a friend. really i had tried everything to make her feel respected. but in turn she felt anger bc her child reached for me and wanted me over her. awful, awful feeling, upsetting her so much.

right after that little LaRon, the neighbor boy came out, and I turned my attention on him. i got to talk to his mom for a while, and told her what great kids she had. we got him some beads and let him show off his skateboarding tricks, and then got him a water bottle and they headed in. a couple kids from the school came and i met some of their mothers, and made it my goal to make sure those moms understood what a blessing those kids had been all week. i hope they really understand what amazing little bundles of joy they have, and how much i loved being able to spend time with them.

we prayed and cleaned up, but Bollie had not stopped by again. the team left upset we hadnt been able to say goodbye, but since I know where he lives I know if I go back I'll be ableto see him again. as long as he is still there. fingers crossed.



so that was pretty much the end of my trip. or at least the part I am going to blog about. i have been so touched by Bollie,the kids, the teachers, and the other people on our trip. my heart came back a little more stripped of its walls, and I know I am going to be a much friendlier person from this day on. I'm really praying hard for God's guidance, but at this point I really feel like I want to go back to New Orleans, just to spend time at that school helping the kids. we'll see what doors open.

Day 3

day 3 started out rough. fighting with someone close to me, just a lot of emotions being pushed right and left. lets just say i was ready to get to the school and feel the children's unconditional love.

but... there was one super important part of day 3. ashley's birthday! the night before I had gotten a group together and we planned on getting up a couple minutes earlier and pulling a prank on ashley since it was her birthday. our plan was simple; get her in her sleeping bag while she was still asleep, carrying her out of the trailer into the grass, and sing happy birthday as loud as we possibly could. i had all my girls and a few of my friends volunteer, and we were standing around her sleeping bag literally reaching down to pick her up when a near-by alarm went off, and up pops ashley, out of the sleeping bag. at first we all froze and werent sure what to do until i called ashley back over and sternly told her to get BACK in the sleeping bag. she seemed a little confused, but i told her one more time to get back in, and she listened. i really hope im the only one honored with 100% obedience [besides her family i mean] or that girl may be in trouble in the future. anyway, she got back in and we grabbed her and carried her outside. we were a little thrown off by ashley being awake, so we made it to the deck and thats as far as we got. set her down, and sang her happy birthday. i would say it went fairly well. i was pleased we had enough people to carry her outside without dropping her; that would have made me feel pretty bad

worked during the morning, and lunch break was great. we all piled into the van, blasted the air conditioning, and rocked out to Dennis' awesome worship CD. there were a few songs in particular we were attached to, and one song we made our theme song; Saved By Grace. everyone who went on teh trip has now heard it, because we've blasted it at the block party [which you will hear about later] as well as in the church parking lot as we pulled in. We all LOVE that song. its a catchy song, and its long, and we all danced and sang like crazy people everytime we heard it. which was a lot. this time in particular one of Trinity's church volunteers was sitting on the house steps with his son eating, so we turned the song up as loud as it could go, rolled down the windows, and proceeded to rock teh van. literally. Jack [the worker] loved it, asked who it was, and then told us we HAD to play that song at the block party the following day. we were happy to do so.

this day was the day Bollie really made an appearance. we met him teh first day we worked, bc he lived up teh street and also worked up the street from where we were. he was a kind of older guy, but fit as could be, with a huge smile and even bigger heart. he stopped by every day, and we saw him multiple times, always running out to say hi and give him a water bottle to drink. in return, he told us stories. on day 3 he spent a good half hour with us telling us some of the story of the hurricane. his story absolutely blew our minds.

the water was over ten feet tall; you couldnt drive anymore, all you could do is swim. people were being picked up by helicopters and dropped off on the highway, pretty much left there to die. people were drowning like crazy right on the street we were working on, and dead bodies and dead animals would be soon floating all around. he was with one older guy, which is the reason he was still there anyway. they couldnt sleep on beds, for the fear that they would be shot. they ran out of drinking water, so they had to drink the flood water, which held all kinds of germs and diseases, which was what eventually killed the older man he was with. he told us a story of a mother who had 4 little children; one of them fell in the water, and the poor mother had to sit there and watch the child drown, bc she had to stay and protect the other 3. taht story just broke my heart. the first thing that popped into my mind was my girls. if any of them had fallen in, and i had to sit back to protect teh rest, it would absolutely shatter my heart, and i would feel guilty for the rest of my life. i love each and every one of them too much! and they're my SISTERS, imagine if they were my KIDS. wow, cant even begin to understand how painful that would be.

after Bollie's stories and a little more work, we went to the school again, and the boys joined us. another great day with them. more games, more volleyball. a lot of the kids we were close to were missign that day, like Iona, Rayne, and Alexis. but there were plenty of other kids to keep us occupied.

after that day with the kids, I was really beginning to feel attached to them. our group started calling them "Our Kids" bc its realy what it felt like. i would leave jsut wanting to go right back in and give each and every one of them an extra hour of undivided attention. it was hard to say bye

we had teh regular evening activities, no frogs in the shower that night. which brings us to teh end of day 3

NOLA Day 2

day 2.

tuesday. about a week before Jake K had asked me if I would be willing to lead devotions on one of the days. I was extremely grateful and honored to be asked to do so, but freaked out at the same time. I've done a lot of acting/stage speaking, and random speaking in front of groups, but not realy PLANNED speaking. really iv only done that a couple times. so as honored as I was, I was a little scared to accept. but I did, knowing this is exactly the practice that I need. I had prepared a study all about opening your heart and being willing to let things happen, and trusting God through those things. i found some verses, linked some personal experiences, and was ready to go. i got up there, and started shaking. i always get nerves before getting in front of a group of people, which is ridiculous, and im hoping it will go away. but anyway, i spoke faster than i usually do, which is way too fast, finished the bible study in about 4 minutes, and forgot to pray. to say the least, it didnt go as planned. i am one who beats myself up more than others beat me up, so i took it pretty hard for a while. after praying about it i realized that i screwed up and there was nothing i could do about it, so move on. nobody's perfect. im not, and never will be. i took it as a practice and got on with it. ill be more prepared for the next opportunity, thats for sure

now, this is one of the days for me that really marked the trip. our team had found out we were going to get to go to the elementary school and play with the kids for a couple hours. to say the least I was ecstatic. I am a relational person, all the way, and i absolutely adore kids. we worked hard all morning, counting down the minutes to go clean up and meet the kids. I can honestly say I had no idea what to expect. the girls cleaned up, and headed outside, and it was like a slam of swarming mosquitos. that is, until you paid attention to them. then those dozens of harsh little kids turned into huggy sweet little children, and your hearts melted right along with their attitudes.

there were quite a few kids who stuck out to me, even just on the first day. I believe Alexis was the first. my first sight of Alexis was at the Uno table, which was a table in the corner where the kids pretty much played uno 24/7. Alexis had all the cards in her hands and was scowling while bossing and snapping at all the other kids, either telling me what to do or what they were doing wrong. Amy, Jenna and I sat down to play with them, and really were at a loss. We didnt know what to say in response to these kids being so mean to each other. I was sitting right next to Alexis, and i did my best to keep her calm while attempting to play their version of uno. which is one with no rules.

during this game we met a few other kids who are a big part of this week's story. Thomas, a sibling of some of the girls. Rayne, who you will hear plenty about, and Region. First impression of Region? She had quite the 'tude as well. one of the first thigns she did when we sit down was proudly show us the hair she was growing under her arms. if you know me, you know how much hair grosses me out, so this observation was absolutely disturbing for me. I think that was one of the main points during the week where I had to use all my willpower not to show my true emotion, as I congratulated her on this "achievement". a little after that, Alexis had done something to upset her, and up she ran and wouldnt play with us. I hopped up to follow her. She shoved herself agaisnt a brick wall and wouldnt look me in the eye as I tried every trick in the book to get her to join the group again. I finally promised her a spot on my team and so she grabbed my hand and ran me back to the table. hopping on my lap she took control and teh game started up again. that didnt last long and she ran back to her seat, but another little girl instantly picked up on the opportunity.

now Rayne had been sitting right by me from the start, and obviously had gotten a little jealous of Region being able to sit on my lap. so she demanded to be on my team and sat on my knee, holding the cards for me and telling me what to play. she soon decided she would be on mine AND jennas team, and sat on one of jennas knees while sitting on one of mine, had us hold our cards but still told us what to do. when we asked her name, she told me it was rayne, but then leaned and whispered in my ear what her REAL name was, which I was not to tell anyone. I will be keeping taht promise to her, considering she whispered it so quietly I never even heard what she said. as soon as cameras came out, rayne got excited. kerry took a bunch of dennis' camera, while we did goofy pics and smiling pics and random pics, over and over again. this is how we got mine and jennas all time favorite picture of Rayne, where she has her arms wrapped around jenna and they are both beaming. love that one.

now this takes us back to Alexis, who was still pitching a fit about obeying rules. I reached down and asked her if she wanted to take a picture, and she instantly attached to my side. we took one, and the next thing I know she was hugging me and practically napping on my shoulder. from that point on it was hard to get her out of my arms. I always felt a sort of connection with Alexis, bc I understood why she was acting the way she was. its exactly how I used to be, and sometimes still can be. I cover up emotion by being the leader or even being kind of nasty, but as soon as someone is willing to reach for my heart i melt. this is exactly what happened to alexis. i reached out to her, and the attention touched her heart in an unbelievable way. it just blew my mind that these kids just wanted to be looked out, just wanted to hold your hand.

and that statement brings me to G Man. his real name is Cantrell, but I wont ever call him that, so just think G Man. G Man is a tiny little boy, probably 7 or 8 years old. He smiled ALL THE TIME. my first interaction with him was playing volleyball with a huge green ball that was way too big for him. all I had to do was throw him the ball, he would smack it across the play area, run and get it, and we would do it again. this went on for quite some time, with other kids joining in along the way. one being a boy named Tamon. Now Tamon was a handfull. He was a male version of Alexis, all the way. He would go around hitting other kids with baseball bats, shove kids around, but as soon as you paid any attention to him he was super sweet.

I believe the last kid to really touch my heart in the first portion of the school day was Carnisha. sweet little Carnisha had a scowl that could burn you, but a smile that could make your heart flutter. she was another one that would sit on your lap and talk to you until your ears would fall off, and I just loved interacting with her at all. I grew quite attached to her, after just a short hour.

after the first hour, the prek/1st graders go in, and the older kids come out. the "older kids" are pretty much kids 2nd grade through 8th. the first 30 minutes or so jenna, becky and i spent talking to a girl named Iona. sweet girl, seemed 15, only 12. she told us all about her plans, talked to us some about the hurrice, and we talked to her about church too. we lated joined Kerry and a bunch of other older girls just to talk, play hand games, and take pictures. not too eventful, at least not compared to the first half of the day.

we finished up around 2, headed back to the site, and headed home. we grabbed all of our stuff and headed to the showers. I believe it was me, jenna, kerry, and leanne in the showers at this point. the showers is a little hut containing 4 different stalls. were all talking, taking our showers, when suddenly I turn around and there is a slightly large disgusting light green frog sitting right to my face. of course, me not being a fan of bugs/insects/nasty slimy creatures screamed like crazy. lucky for me, there is a little spot right outside of your shower that also has a curtain, where you can change your clothes. i step out there, still screaming, while the frog crawls up the shower wall and onto the shower head. by then i had somehow verbalized to the other girls what was in my shower, so they no longer thought i was dying. [kerry said that since my screaming was such high shrills, and multiples, not just one, she had considered either a man with a gun or a large animal in there with me. thankfully she was wrong]. as teh girls laughed at me hysterically i took the least amount of time i could to finish my shower and get out.

to say the least I was the laughing stock of the night. the story was told over and over again, and I still had a migraine from my own screams echoing in my shower. lets jsut say i was not looking forward to bathing again. and that brings an end to day 2.

New Orleans summer 2009 - through work day 1

I have actually been avoiding writing this blog. During the trip I couldnt wait to write all about it and post it for everyone. But for some reason once I arrived home yesterday, I lost all motivation for it. I honestly just did not want to write it. I believe that is for multiple reasons. For one, I am exhausted. Writing this blog is going to be emotional, and I', not really sure if that's really what I want right now. Another main point is that this blog will in no way sum up my trip. Really, it can't be put into words. You need to have had experienced it, or you just won't get it. Any person who went on the trip with me can vouch for that.

But here I am. I have gotten many requests for the full story. So here we go. I know a few of you I will be sitting down with and you will get more details, but I'll do the best on here that I can do.Be ready for the longest blog you will probably ever read.

So the trip down. We get to the church, get all registered, find out who our teammates are, and find out we will be riding with them in the vans. My team consisted of Dennis Taylor and Kerry Bard as the leaders, than me, Jenna Parham, Mac Saunders, Tyiesha Steele, Becky Steele, Chris Cacares, Matt Fuqua, Tyler Heye, and Felicia M. Later on Tyler and Felicia were switched off of our team, and Ceri Wilk was switched in. This was extremely exciting for me, considering Ceri is one of my girls. As is Tyiesha, who I was equally excited about having on my team. That's pretty much all you need to know about the first 2 days. Team, and travel. We stayed in a church called God's House Saturday night, got 0 sleep and sweat a lot. But it was roomie and we are super grateful, considering the church let us stay there on such short notice.

We arrived at Trinity Church in Covington, NO about 7 pm Sunday night. We got the ground rules, met the volunteers/staff, and were shown our accomodations. We would be eating in the sanctuary of the church, and boys would be sleeping on one half of it as well. While the girls slept in the youth trailer right next to the church. The trailer was great; air conditioned, a splattering of sofas, and dozens of Christian band posters. The only part I was not a fan of was the showers. We had a bad first impression when Kylee, Jenna and I went to shower and couldnt find the light, but found finger-sized bugs instead. Not good. You will later learn about my other good experiences with these showeres.


So Monday. Get up bright and early 5:45 to beat all the other girls to the bathrooms inside the church. [our trailer only had one bathroom, not really to be used for getting ready.] Had a good breakfast, listened to devotions from John, then got ready to work. Luckily my group was informed we were allowed to wear shorts, so most of us took advantage of that. Sadly Jenna and I were the wise ones who decided that our athletic pants would be just as good, no need to go change. mmmm. We packed a lunch of sandwhich, chips, granola bar, and a piece of fruit, filled up our cooler, and off we went. It was about a 45 minute drive to New Orleans where my team was working on 2 houses on Willow Street. We drove over the longest bridge over water on the way there, and it was gorgeous. see facebook pics for a teeny image of it. But really, no picture could capture it; it was incredibly beautiful, and it was peaceful to drive the 30 minutes over it. my favorite part of the drive, by far. we got there and got right to sanding; face masks and sunglasses on. within minutes you were DRIPPING sweat. I have never sweat that much in my entire life as I did this past week. Anyway, we sanded, and with the help of the other girls we got a worship sing along going, went very well. we all put 110% energy into those first hours, and then after a while were told to stop. Then is when we found out taht everything we had just sanded wasnt actually supposed to be sanded, but it was TEXTURE. so we ended up jsut making MORE work for ourselves, after wasting all of our energy and quite some time. we kept moods up, worked on other jobs, and that was the end of work day 1. headed home, raced for the showers, ate a well appreciated dinner of pasta, played cards, and hit the hay. emotions? quite negative, actually. I had gone into this trip hoping for God to completely shatter my heart. I felt it was what I needed and what I was going to get. a day in and I felt nothing. disappointing, thats for sure.


im splitting up the blogs by days, or they will be way too long. so thats it for day 1

Where has my joy gone?

I have found what is missing. I have found why my attitude has sucked so bad.
I went back and watched the 2 messages we have already had in our series studying the book of Philippians, all about joy.
I have HAPPINESS. But lately, I have lacked joy. My relationship with God was at a halt, and with it was my joy. I am not joyful when I do not have God running 100% of my life.

Ahh finally. I knew it didnt have to do with the fact that I turned 18

I know I have made this comment before, but it's so true; I can always tell in my own personal and spiritual and relational life when I have not been conversing back and forth through God.


I talked about a talk fast and a facebook fast, and I am currently doing both. I am putting a complete end to facebook until further notice, and my talking will cease greatly. i truly feel like this will help me LISTEN more, which is something i need to do. some to people, but mostly just listen to God and what He is trying to say to me.

I ALREADY feel calmer and more joyful, and I gave up facebook an hour ago. i feel like everything isnt as hectic and just go go go go go! i feel like its slowed down already a lot. and i feel peace. peace in knowing I am listening for/to the one person who can give me the right answers.



"When complaining and arguing begin to characterize who we are, when the complaining and arguing begins to affect our perception and our perspective of how we view life, it will always rob us of joy. And it will rob us of joy every single time."
- Shawn Williams

Where Your Heart Belongs - Mainstay

You lost yourself in finding out
the wonders of the world will let you down
You gave yourself to those who never cared about your soul
They only cared for their own
It seems everyone has left you

You're not alone, I hear you call
And I've been waiting here for you through it all
You're not alone, come to the cross
And let me show you where your heart belongs

You've been down the darkest roads
and you know just how it feels to lose your hope
But don't give up on everything
when everyone has given up on you
And it feels like everyone has left you

You're not alone, I hear you call
And I've been waiting her for you through it all
You're not alone, come to the cross
And let me show you where your heart belongs

I will never leave you, come back to my open arms
To the only love you need

You're not alone, I hear you call
And I've been waiting her for you through it all
You're not alone, come to the cross
And let me show you where your heart belongs