Lyrics that TOTALLY relate to me

Never let 'em see you when you're breaking
Never let 'em see you when you fall
That's how we live and that's how we try
Tell the world you've got it all together
Never let them see what's underneath
Cover it up with a crooked smile
But it only lasts for a little while

There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

Suddenly it's like a weight is lifted
When you hear the words that you are loved
He knows where you are and where you've been
And you never have to go there again

Who lived and died to give new life
To heal our imperfections
So look up and see out let grace be enough

The Climb

I can almost see it, That dream I'm dreaming
but there's a voice inside my head sayin, you'll never reach it
Every step I’m taking, Every move I make feels lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing the chances im taking
sometimes they knock me down but no I'm not breaking
the pain im knowing
but these are the moments that
im going to remember most yeah
just got to keep going
and i, i got to be strong
just keep pushing on

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb


I hate miley cyrus. i mean HATE her. if it werent for my small group girls, i would never have listened to her music or seen her [stupid] movie. the things i do for those girls. i mean really, some day they are going to kill me. becca with the zip line, andrea with dead mice, cer and ashley with miley, tyeisha with the high ropes course, and steph and court with the rock wall. honestly, i am not safe. i should just quit now. ahaha.

anyway. miley sucks, but this song absolutely ROCKS. the lyrics are amazing, and lucky me, they relate to my life right now perfectly. and, ironically, iv been hearing the song constantly ever since i realized that.

im pretty darn good at hiding my emotions, i must say. im getting better talking about them, but im still not very good at showing them. its impossible to be mushy, in fear of rejection. in fear of admitting my love and need for someone and then having it be taken away. just plain fear. i think im getting better at it, but i can never tell if im just going through a confident spurt, or an insecure spurt, or whatever.

i think it hit me in december. early, yes. i think i cried 9 out of 10 times i came home from stuco. scared of the change, of not having the support, of losing the people. now its come and i cant make myself cry. i WANT to cry. i cried at stuco while doing worship, but it wasnt much. and not even close to all of it. and ppl saw me crying, i freaked, i shut down, and now... nothing. i forced myself to go back into complete shock; no tears, no anger, no words. just... aches. my heart aches. im horrified of the fall, and never in my life have i doubted a decision like im doubting my college choice.

part of my knows i need to just shut up and listen to God. let him either comfort me or let me know im going the wrong way. I love my Lord, so so much. i am not ashamed of that, i am crazy in love with my Savior. I think about Him all the time, i know my entire life is thanks to Him. but in this exact moment.. Hes the last person i want to turn to. I know He has the answer, and it's one of those situations where im pretty sure i know what the answer is, and i dont want to hear it.

i can act like such a 5 yr old.
but i dont want to have to act like an adult right now anyway.



The struggles I'm facing the chances im taking, sometimes they knock me down but no I'm not breaking...

bible study

it's funny how I can always tell when I'm drifting from God and when I'm right on track. my insecurities come back, i start doubting, i get scared, im hurt much more easily than usual.

it's sad how dumb we can be as believers sometimes. iv always been huge on praying and reading my bible and talking to God. especially living back at my moms, when things were so tough. i didnt go a day without my devotional time. but then, i moved out. and its not that life got easy or perfect, but i was through with some of the stress i had before. it was my wall i finally got rid of when i moved out. and along with the stress, i got rid of my bible study.

it wasnt intentional. i suddenly could do waht i wanted and i lost the time. i no longer felt i "needed it" bc the mom situation was over, but how ridiculous is that? i need it as much now as i did before, if not more. i have more free time, more freedom, which means more temptation. so why would i stop reading my bible now? i need my strength, i need my support, i need my motivation to do the right thing. yet, i just ditched Him. its been over a month and iv barely read my bible.

i guess i just find it funny how stupid we can be sometimes. one thing improves and we dont need His guidance? ridiculous.

so here i go, im gettin back in line. with everything. excercise, eating right, reading my bible, etc. i cant believe ifinally got what i thougth would help me improve so much, and i let it help me back track.