Surrender

Haiti is slowly consuming more and more of my life, and that couldn't make me happier.

Last Thursday was my first official Haiti meeting with a few people who are considering going with me. I got pretty freaked out before I left. As confident as I am that I'm doing what God wants, it still scares me. The fact that each trip is taking me one step closer to my ultimate goal of moving to Haiti is horrifying.

On the way to the meeting I turned off my radio and just talked out loud with God. After only a few seconds I was sobbing, completely overwhelmed by His love and His blessings. I found myself just saying thank you over and over and over again.

It's a cool moment when you realize that God has blessed you with a vision and a purpose. It's also really cool when you finally let go of control. I have finally just surrendered my future to God, and it was the best feeling in the world. Who better to plan out my life than the one who knows it all?

I wanted to get the word "surrender" tattooed on my wrist for quite a while. I wanted a physical, in my face reminder that this is not my life, but God's, and I am to surrender everything to Him. I don't need a tattoo to remind me of that. Every second of my life is a reminder that I need to surrender my control, my plans, my feelings to Him. How different [and terrible] my life would be if I didn't decide to do that.

This weekend there were a lot of comments about starting your day and DECIDING to do something, like be a mother, or a wife. I need to wake up every morning and decide to surrender that day to my Father, to let Him control what happens, control my actions, simply control my life. I couldn't make a better decision for myself.