Abundance

my Father in heaven is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Which is funny to say, since I wouldn't have happened if it weren't for Him.

I've been so swept away by the love of Jesus, it's hard to put into words. He is all I am about, all I am living for. I would have no purpose, no drive if it weren't for Him.

As the months have gone on I have felt so incredibly close to God, more so every single day. There were multiple points this weekend I felt God wrap His arms around me, and I felt more safe and comfortable than I ever have.

Forever Reign by Hillsong is a song we focused on this weekend. I had heard the song before, but hearing it at Blast definitely helped it stand out to me even more. Every line in that song is amazing, so instead of just writing what I like, I'll just post them all. I've never sang a song that felt more like I was speaking directly to my Father.

We have an awesome God. We are lucky to be able to run to His arms, to feel His embrace, to feel His love, His peace, His joy. I really don't know how in the world I would get through even a day of this life without Him.




You are good, You are good
when there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
on display for all to see

You are light, You are light
when the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin

You are peace, You are peace
when my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
ever in my wandering

You are joy, You are joy
You're the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life
in You death has lost its sting

You are more, You are more
than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
all creation will proclaim

You are here You are here
in Your presence I'm made whole
You are God You are God
of all else I'm letting go

Oh, I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms
the riches of Your love will always be enough
nothing compares to Your embrace, Light of the world, forever reign

my heart will sing no other name, Jesus, Jesus

Run to You

As soon as I begin to lose focus, God pulls me back.

One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn/am learning is that it is not about the people here. It is not about what they think or how they feel about me, or pleasing them or making them proud. God wants me to be the person HE wants me to be. I'm living to make HIM proud, and to please HIM. I try to hard to gain earthly approval I'm just never going to get. Not because I'm not good enough but because I'm not MEANT to get it.

I belong to my Heavenly Father and only my Heavenly Father. He loves me so incredibly much, and more than anyone else ever would or ever could. I need to be joyful in His love and His comfort, and not so discontent when I am not getting it from other people. He is all I need, all I want.

He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane.
I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
All of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me.


oh how He loves us, oh how He loves...

After You

meanwhile back at my heart, I'm desperate for all that You are
undo me and take me apart
meanwhile back at my soul, mend me, please make me whole
You know just where to start


Every day I feel like I am one step closer to getting my life straightened out. I know I'll never figure it all out, and I won't always be happy or pleased with what's going on. But I can be peaceful. And I really feel like I'm getting there.

I'm not sure where I want to be when I'm older, or what job I want to have. I don't know what country I want to live in, or who I want to be in relationship with. I don't know anything about my future. I used to be such a control freak. There is no way I would have been okay with this just a few months ago. But I feel like I'm okay without knowing. I'm quite the planner, and I don't expect that to go away. But I won't be planning things like my future or what I'm going to do with my life. I think I've really given that up at this point.


I find myself searching for more and more ways to feel close to God. My relationship with Him has become more and more significant to my life, and now I find myself constantly in conversation with Him, thinking about Him, thanking Him. My dream is for him to become THE most significant relationship in my life, and I really feel like He's there now.



Let the songs I sing bring joy to You
Let the words I say confess my love
Let the notes I choose be Your favorite tune
Father, let my heart be after You

Ping Pong

When the ping pong table talk started, I was concerned. It seems that our house has enough competition, and it would be just one more thing that would cause easy fights. I knew it would be fun but I was worried about sore losers or arrogant winners, and was really curious as to what would happen.

I couldn't have been more wrong.


One of the things we always talked about as a benefit of me living with the Raads was the example they were setting for me. I was getting to learn how a family functions in a healthy way. Every home has its own flaws, its strengths and weaknesses. I have gotten to see examples of lenience, instruction, direction, mercy, discipline, grace, forgiveness, and most of all, and most importantly, love. The love of a protective father and a compassionate mother, the love of a sister for her little brother, and a little boy for his mom. But not only have I been blessed with the example of a loving family between the kids and the parents, but between the parents themselves.

For some reason more recently I've really been able to see Tim and Brandie for the couple that they are. I always dreamed of falling in love and marrying my high school sweetheart, and they've been living that for 17 years now.

Watching Tim and Brandie play ping pong made my heart swell. I could imagine them as kids my age playing for hours, just spending time together and enjoying it. It was like they dropped 20 years in my mind, and I could see the love that they have for each other, then and still now.


I have been so blessed to become part of this family that is such a great example for me, but even more importantly I have been blessed to have an example of a successful and loving relationship. Living in a world full of broken homes and broken hearts, I find it too easy to lose faith in relationships and people. Not only have they helped me learn how to function in relationships in a much healthier manner, but they've given me hope for my own life.