Monday, May 17, 2010

Test of Faith

Sometimes I smile at how hard satan tries. Mostly it makes me angry, and I cry a lot because of him, but in the times where it is just so much I have to take a step back and look around... I almost laugh.

Sometimes things feel next to impossible. Sometimes I still have the urge to just give up. The pain is too much, the hurt is too frequent, the wounds seemingly open and sore forever. I sit here with an aching heart, wishing that it would all just go away.

It is interesting to observe my own reactions to what's been happening. In the moment, I feel like I have nothing left. I have moments where I just curl up and cry my heart out because I have no idea what to do. But then, I often kind of "wake up" from that, and look at the bigger picture. I can see that it will work out, I remember that God is working in and through this, and He is on my side. It doesn't make the pain go away; I sit here with a heavy heart, but at least I have hope knowing that God will not let go of me.

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