oh its good to be home...

i walk in to my mom and brother fighting. hardcore fighting. from what she tells me they have been all week, and everythings just getting uglier.

the first person to ask me how my trip went was a little girl i tutored 3 years ago who found my aim screen name.
i was asked more than 6 hours after i had gotten home.


as some of the people know who went to CIY with me, i am struggling with a boyfriend situation. i deeply, deeply care about my boyfriend. i love him and have grown up with him. the LAST thing iwant to do is break up with him. iv been with him for quite a while. but this week at CIY God told me to get rid of my distractions and focus 100% on him. one of the first things he told me to get rid of was my boyfriend. i want to do whatever God wants me to, but that was something I knew would be hard. I struggled. ask Mitch, he knows. he sat with me as I cried and tried to explain it to my boyfriend, who talked me out of it. [for the moment] i knew i would still do what God wanted me to cause thats just the way it has to be. but it hurt. i cried and cried and felt so guilty and horrible to be hurting someone who hadnt done anything wrong.

that i had known of, at the moment.


i get home, and go on my facebook and myspace, and read this girls site. her status says: "at joels lakehouse for the weekend. call text meee. but well be having too much fun, i probably wont answer ;]" [joel is my boyfriend, btw].

lets just say i snapped.

joel, who iv been dating for months, told me that he couldnt bring anyone to the lakehouse when he goes.
more like anyone that hes actually dating.

i text the girl, her being my "friend" and all, and he obviously saw that and calls me, to say "hey, i just wanted u 2 know im at the lakehouse. and sam is with me. ok gtg bye" and literally hangs up on me before i get a word out.

he obviously knows what hes doing is wrong, or he wouldnt have called or acted like that on the phone. he would have told me ahead of time.



i trust God. even more now. He was obviously trying to protect me from staying with someone disloyal and dishonest. as soon as I see my boyfriend again he will be single. if not sooner than that. and i am NOT dating again. not anytime soon.



welcome home erin.
your family is all fighting.
nobody cares that your back.
and your boyfriend is cheating on you.


anything else you would like to know?