Blessings and the curse

It's strange how comforting blogging can be. I can't say I ever expected it to be like that. It's like I can say whatever I want, whenever I want, and for some reason it is nice to just know it's been said, it's out there. Talking to no one is actually kind of nice. Also never expected to say that.

When I start wishing life would be easier, I can't help but think about those I have met who have it even harder than I do. Friends who have had parents die, siblings commit suicide, or die of cancer. Those I met in New Orleans who literally have no home, who live in the few "buildings" left after the hurricane. Those kids who have to wear the same shirt to school multiple days in one week because it's all they have. The girls who lived in the dome, being abused and harassed by men of all ages. Those who have to eat cold uncooked noodles because they have nothing else. I think about my friends with alcoholic parents, or friends whose parents just up and disappeared. Who am I to complain when I know people who have and are going through all of this?

It's nice to know I have a God who doesn't think my problems are nothing simply because others have problems that are worse. He tells us to cast our anxieties on Him... to cry out to Him, to turn to Him when we are in need. Well, right now, I don't know what to do. I'm eighteen years old and need wisdom of an eighty year old. Which I definitely do NOT have. The one person I can talk to about this can't give me any kind of verbal response, and I am struggling to hear what He is trying to say to me about it.

During my bible study today I was reading many of Christ's parables in Matthew, and commented on our discussion that I can't wait to just sit with Jesus and listen to Him tell stories, listen to Him talk to me. I want that more and more everyday, to be with the One who loves me more than anyone ever does or ever could, and just LISTEN, just be in His presence, be surrounded with the greatness of who He is. The love I feel from Him now will only be intensified, and to feel that kind of love has to be absolutely amazing.


Funny how my blogs have almost become letters to my heavenly Father, just written in story form... I know He cares, I know He reads them, I know He loves me. And sometimes that's the most comforting thing I can think about.