Beautiful

Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything?

We only breathe for so long. So why do things that don't make us happy? Why deal with people who hurt us?

I've been told "it's not you" a million times. Oh, it's not me? Then why is it happening so much, by so many? Why do people's actions always say the opposite of what their speaking? You say I'm worth it and treat me like I'm trash. You say I'm like family and treat me like your enemy. How is it not me? Am I earning this? Did I do something? Am I stupid? Am I just so completely relationally screwed up that I can't figure it out?

I'm tired of being a flaw. I'm tired of being a mistake. I would love to just be something beautiful.