College is such a great yet awful thing. I am so blessed to have the finances, the opportunity to go to school and learn. And I do love to learn. But I am so torn. Between being so far away, the hard and constant work, the unchanging life, and a community that knows nothing of diversity, I am just not lovin this. I love the people, the learning, the education. But I'm sick of people gasping at more than 3 black people gathered together, or when I talk to someone that isnt in my inner circle. This is not who I am. I love diversity, more than anything. I love people of all different colors, ages, cultures, countries, etc. I love people in general. And I just don't feel like I have the opportunity to live that out here.
On top of that? I am so tired of feeling like a disappointment. To others, to myself. I am ready to be somewhere I feel happy, and I feel like I am thriving.
It is shockingly hard to be content in a place you don't want to be.
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