One step at a time

hurry up, and wait
so close, but so far away
every thing, that you ever dreamed of
close enough for you to taste
but you just cant touch


its so how i feel right now. its all so here, so close... yet so so far away, like ill never get a hold on it
i feel like that about multiple things. my life being 100% dedicated to Christ. college. relationship with my dad, fixing things with my mom, a CAR. everything.


there are [of course] some positives. like always :]
i got rehired at justice. i worked there for a year, took a 2 month break, and will be starting again on monday. definitely a plus. i loved that job!
i also got my first acceptance letter today to spring arbor university. very exciting! it is in michigan, which feels a little too far from me, but its 1 of my top 3 schools. #3, to be exact. im still waiting to hear back from hope college and north park university, which is my #1 choice. if i get into north park, im going there no matter what. its in downtown chicago, so getting home will not be difficult. which is good.

its funny. when i say home, im not talking about the house i live in. im talking about my church.
i still havent decided if thats good or bad. but thats my family. its who i love to be with, and hopefully i have a future job there. fingers crossed. i know that if i am led to another church its God's plan, but i really feel like CCC is where i belong. maybe not montgomery campus, but A campus. well see, i have a few more years before i have to worry about that.

so next thursday, early in the morning, im heading out to spring arbor for 2 days. they have their senior expedition, where we go thursday, eat dinner and see a concert and stay in the dorms with some college students. the next morning we go to chapel, tour the campus, meet with a professor that teaches our major, and get to ask whatever questions we like. ill be back late friday night. and im super excited! ill be taking the train, and right now it looks like ill be going by myself, unless sarah can join me. of all people shes definitely the one i want to join me. it would be crazy fun!!

finished the apprentice book that carter, eric, and nick wrote. it was definitely helpful for me, because i obviously need to know what leaders look for in an apprentice bc i eventually will be one. interning is kind of the first step to that, apprenticeship follows it. and someday im sure ill be apprenticing people, too. it was helpful. i really love reading books about ministry. im definitely a self learner, like with reading and researching. and of course, going through it is good :]


well, back to the real world.
waiting for my last 2 college letters, so i can make some final decisions.
im way too anxious to wait any longer. i should find out this month, either way.
but the fact i might have to wait 4 more weeks is killin me. i definitely do NOT have the patience for that... oh well.